The month has just started and I get more and more excited about the list of activities I have lined up for this month. There's my cousin's wedding, the Holy Week trip to Batangas with the fam bam, but the thing I'm most looking forward to is my pre-birthday trip. Finally, I can have an ultimate summer getaway. It's been two years.
As April begins to unfold its surprises, I realized I'm about to turn 28. So many things, happy and heartbreaking ones, have happened that changed me. Some are for the better, some are not.
I maybe disappointed with myself for letting my emotions get the better of me. Somehow, I become a person that's quite far from what I envisioned myself to be, but I can only reflect and stop those things from getting worse.
There are a lot of events that broke my heart and there are some people who have let me down. You know what they say about that? I once read in Pinterest that sometimes you expect more from people because you would be willing to do much for them. But life goes on, right? These things somehow turned my heart into steel, most of the time blinded with pessimism but I know for a fact that I'm still the girl who loves to laugh. I may have done and felt things I shouldn't but it made me appreciate things people my age sometimes take for granted.
There are still traces of my old self now. I still laugh hard at the silliest things. I am touched by simple gestures. I always need something to keep me sane. My act of love is shown through words that's why I love being reminded that I am appreciated and loved. I enjoy being alone sometimes. But I enjoy it more when I'm around with people who can make me smile.
I may not have everything I want to at this age, far from what I prayed for a decade ago but I know life is full of surprises. I just have to accept the fact that life is not fair but it is a gift.
And whenever this month of the year comes along, I still feel that kind of excitement knowing my birthday is just around the corner. If it's not too much to ask, I pray dear Lord that for this month I get just plain happy vibes.
After all, it's my month and I'm in love.